The Programmer's Blues

by Lee A. Hart

Programming's the thing to do.
A millionaire by twenty-two.
I'll write the next great cellphone app
In a fancy house, get rich and fat.

(Man, that's the life!)

A new PC took all my dough.
It's also great for games, you know.
Now I got to learn me C.
Good thing the compiler's free.

(Open source, and open wallet)

Computer languages are hell.
Spellcheckers don't work so well
If C you wish to understand
Read "Alice in Wonderland."

(I think C has cancer of the semi-colon)

Work all night, and half the day.
It still ain't working anyway.
Debugging code is such a hack.
Take one out, and two come back.

(I guess they brought some friends)

I finally got it finished off,
And sent it out to Microsoft.
Somehow my calls just don't get through.
Don't call us, boy; we'll call you.

(Must be Gates is kinda busy)

When I thought all hope was gone,
I sold my app on Amazon.
I bought me a great big Cadillac,
But the finance company took it back.

(Where's them royalty checks I'm supposed to get?)

Computer coding's here to stay,
In spite of anything I say.
I'll move back home and be a bum,
And sing in bars like Simon Krum.

(Don't sue me, Simon! I'm only kidding!

This poem was inspired by my (futile) attempts to master the C programming language. PS: Simon Krum was a country singer whose act was to impersonate other famous singers.

Lee A. Hart